Its like a hypnotist put everyone from Seattle into a collective trance. "You are getting sleepy, when you wake up you will want to live only in a Craftsman house, the year won't matter to you, all that will matter is that the walls will be thick, the windows tiny, the rooms dark, the ceilings low, and it will be poorly situated on the lot.
Maria SempleHovering over me was the Chihuly chandelier. Chihulys are the pigeons of Seattle. They're everywhere and even if they don't get in your way, you can't help but build up a kind of antipathy toward them.
Maria SempleYour mission statement says Galer Street is based on global "connectitude." (You people don't just think outside the box, you think outside the dictionary!)
Maria SempleTags: humor education school elementary-school mission-statements
This is why you must love life: one day you're offering up your social security number to the Russian Mafia; two weeks later you're using the word calve as a verb.
Maria SempleMy heart started racing, not the bad kind of heart racing, like I'm going to die. But the good kind of heart racing, like, Hello, can I help you with something? If not, please step aside because I'm about to kick the shit out of life.
Maria SempleTags: humor fiction funny comic
When your eyes are softly focused on the horizon for sustained periods, your brain releases endorphins. It's the same as a runner's high. These days, we spend our lives staring at screens twelve inches in front of us.
Maria SempleI got a huge knot in my stomach because if Antarctica could talk, it would be saying only one thing: you don't belong here.
Maria SempleNow that Dad was crying, I was, like, both of us can't be sitting on rocks in Antarctica crying. “It's going to be OK, Dad.
Maria SempleMaybe that’s what religion is, hurling yourself off a cliff and trusting that something bigger will take care of you and carry you to the right place.
Maria SempleTags: religion
I can pinpoint that as the single happiest moment of my life, because I realized then that Mom would always have my back. It made me feel giant. I raced back down the concrete ramp, faster than I ever had before, so fast I should have fallen, but I didn't fall, because Mom was in the world.
Maria SempleTags: mom
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