Power means never having to say you're sorry.

Matthew Norman

Tags: life-power



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This house has endured three of my Dad's four wives, and so over the last few decades it's been a home-size mood ring, changing to the styles and temperaments of its female inhabitants.

Matthew Norman


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If my penis were a writer/director, it would be Woody Allen - small, neurotic, and, frankly, hit or miss.

Matthew Norman

Tags: woody-allen penis-humor



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Married silence is a specific kind of silence, typically one in which the woman goes mute while the man pretends as if it's perfectly normal that she hasn't spoken in hours.

Matthew Norman


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She rarely lets me off the hook, holding me to a different standard of emotional intelligence than the other men in her life - even my Brothers. She allows them to behave like Gary, docilely going about their lives, content and happy and completely oblivious to the sticky, ugly things just a few inches below the surface of everything.

Matthew Norman


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I think you'll be a great teacher," said Gary. That's his role in my life: blind encourager and ambassador of false senses of security.

Matthew Norman

Tags: encouragement teacher



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I've been thinking about your Father a lot lately, and I've realized something. I married Gary specifically for the fact that he wasn't Curtis. If your Father has an opposite, it's Gary. I just need to decide if I want to spend the rest of my life with someone I married by default.

Matthew Norman

Tags: marriage



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When you're having sex again, it makes you wonder why you weren't before. What could possibly have been bad enough to make you stop doing THAT?

Matthew Norman

Tags: sex



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Then we lapse into silence. It's these silences that do damage, that reveal glimpses of the distressed foundation struggling under the weight of things.

Matthew Norman


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I instantly like people who laugh at my jokes. It's a weakness of mine.

Matthew Norman

Tags: laugh



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