I was momentarily stunned by his odd announcement and told him as much. "Let’s just talk about the fact that you composed a sonnet to my vagina, shall we? You are sending off some major stalker vibes, which is odd because you’re gay. You are gay, right?"

He narrowed his eyes at me and waved his hand in the direction of his 'muse' as he stated, "I don't want any part of that thing. I just want to honor it for being the only known thing in existence to be touched by the dick of a god.

M.C. Lavocat

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Dude! Get a fucking grip, it's just a song!

When had I turned into a 5-yr-old girl? At the very least, I needed to get my libido under control before the song finished, because I didn’t think that my raging hard-on would be a good icebreaker. Well, figuratively speaking anyway, I thought smugly.

M.C. Lavocat

Tags: quotes humorous-quotes romance-funny funny-quotes adult-humor

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For a split second, I wondered if he were some type of sexy sorcerer, who was able to remove my clothing by the force of his will alone. I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on the buttons of his shirt, willing them to pop off.

It didn’t work. Then again, it was pretty hard to focus while he was touching me, so maybe under different circumstances, I too could be a sexy sorcerer. Watch out world.

M.C. Lavocat

Tags: romantic-comedy funny-quotes witty-quotes adult-humor

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