Life would be so much simpler if guys were like mood rings, and they changed color when they liked you.

Melissa Kantor


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After all, what did Prince Charming know about Cinderella besides her shoe size?

Melissa Kantor


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Apparently being Cinderella isn't so bad after all.

Melissa Kantor


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Nothing.

That's what happens to the stepmother in Cinderella.

Nothing.

Melissa Kantor


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Because if I have a wicked stepmother and two evil stepsisters, aren't I supposed to get a prince?

Melissa Kantor


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Prince Charming was requesting my presence tonight.

Melissa Kantor


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People never think things that are true are funny.

Melissa Kantor


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Why is it I can spend a dozen Friday nights staring at the peeling walls of my "room" without anyone in the family so much as poking a head down to see if I'm alive, while the one time I actually have plans (major plans, plans that necessitate extraordinary focus and massive preparation), my stepmother suddenly suggests we sing a duet of "Getting to Know You"?

Melissa Kantor


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Be honest, Do I give off a vibe that says 'No, handsome stud, I don't want you to make a pass at me,' while at the same time communicating, 'Hello there, acne-ridden dwarf. Promise me we'll meet again.

Melissa Kantor


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Apparently, he was too bust living his own life to be a character in the imaginary novel that was mine.

Melissa Kantor


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