The tree of nonsense is watered with error, and from its branches swing the pumpkins of disaster.

Nick Harkaway


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Society is based on discontent: people wanting more and more and more, being continually dissatisfied with their homes, their bodies, their decor, their clothes, everything.

Nick Harkaway


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The sergeants are shunted forward and they blink and stare up at Gonzo as he leans on the edge of his giant mixing bowl. MacArthur never addressed his troops from a mixing bowl--not even one made from a spare geodesic radio emplacement shell--and certainly de Gaulle never did. But Gonzo Lubitsch does, and he does it as if a whole long line of commanders were standing at his shoulder, urging him on.

"Gentlemen," says Gonzo softly, "holidays are over. I need an oven, and I need one in about twenty minutes, or these fine flapjacks will go to waste, and that is not happening."

And something about this statement and the voice in which he says it makes it clear that this is simply true. One way or another, this thing will get done. Under a layer of grime and horror, these two are soldiers, and more, they are productive, can-do sorts of people. Rustily but with a gratitude which is not so far short of worship, they say "Yes, sir" and are about their business.

Nick Harkaway

Tags: humor war cooking soldiers pancakes flapjacks



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Thus Gonzo, incendiarist and leader of men.

Nick Harkaway


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I am Nemesis, meting out just deserts

Nick Harkaway

Tags: the-gone-away-world



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No. The moral of the story in so far as it has one is that cannibals can study logic, and that if you are going to leave the path, you better have your wits about you and know better than to trust the first scary old lady who talks to you in public.

Nick Harkaway

Tags: advice logic cannibals



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That's what you get for ignoring the beauty of Tupperware.

Nick Harkaway

Tags: tupperware



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Ninjas are silly. They are the flower fairies of gong fu and karate.

Nick Harkaway

Tags: ninjas



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I have known heaven, and now I am in hell, and there are mimes.

Nick Harkaway

Tags: mimes



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A warsheep would be a cross between a dolphin and a small, limber elephant.

Nick Harkaway

Tags: sheep



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