I remember a lot of dreams. Sometimes they are hard to distinguish from what has really happened. That is not so terrible. It is the same with books.
Per PettersonIf I just concentrate I can walk into memory's store and find the right shelf with the right film and disappear into it....
Per PettersonOne of my many horrors is to become the man with the frayed jacket and unfastened flies standing at the Co-op counter with egg on his shirt and more too because the mirror in the hall has given up the ghost. A shipwrecked man without an anchor in the world except in his own liquid thoughts where time has lost its sequence.
Per PettersonThen she turns to me. 'Tell me. How are you really?' she says, as if there were two versions of my life, and now she is not on the verge of tears at all, but sharp-voiced as an interrogator.
Per PettersonOh, well, we did have a good day out together, you and I, that doesn't happen every day, does it?
Per PettersonIt was as if gravity was suspended. It was like dancing, I thought, although I had never danced in my whole life. We were never to walk like that again.
Per Petterson...and we do decide for ourselves when it will hurt.
Per PettersonBut I was not quite with him in my thoughts, and I wonder whether that is how we got to be after living alone for a long time, that in the middle of a train of thought we start talking outloud, that the difference between talking and not talking is slowly wiped out, that the unending, inner conversations we carry on with ourselves merges with the one we have with the few people we still see, and when you live alone for too long the line which divides the one form the other becomes vague, and you do not notice when you cross that line. Is this how my future looks?
Per Petterson...everything felt fine at that moment; the suit was fine, and the twon was fine to walk in, along the cobblestone street, and we do decide for ourselves when it will hurt.
Per PettersonTime is important to me now, I tell myself.Not that it should pass quickly or slowly, but only be time, be something I live inside and fill with physical things and activities that I can divide it up by. so that it grows distict to me and does not vanish when I am not looking.
Per PettersonPage 1 of 4.
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