I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita RudnerWhen I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
Rita RudnerSomeday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita RudnerI love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.
Rita RudnerTags: humor
How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
Rita RudnerI read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen
Rita RudnerTags: cooking
I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
Rita RudnerSome women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' on what? On fire?
Rita RudnerBefore I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita RudnerMy mother buried three husbands...and two of them were only napping.
Rita RudnerPage 1 of 3.
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