He shifted his attention back to me and leaned in closer. “I told you to behave. I don’t want to have to arrest you ever again.”
“Um . . . okay.”
I felt him slide something under my hand. He leaned in even closer, his mouth by my ear, and whispered, “Although I wouldn’t mind handcuffing you.”
Oh. My. God.

Robyn Peterman

Tags: romance humorous contemporary-romance sexy romance-funny robyn-peterman

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I'm twenty-nine, happily single and getting it on a regular basis' I said, enjoying the way their thin lips hung open in an impressive O.

'Well I've never,' Jane gasped.

'Clearly. You should try it some time. I understand Mr Smith is so vision impaired you might have a shot there.'

Their appalled shrieks were music to my ears and I quickly made my escape.

Robyn Peterman

Tags: paranormal-romance vampires vampire-romance contemporary-comedy

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Do you mind if we leave here so I can chain smoke 'til I throw up so it will be easier to quit?

Robyn Peterman

Tags: paranormal-romance smoking vampire-romance contemporary-comedy

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I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and slammed it shut. I shouldn’t have come. I should have waited outside for Jack, told him my family had leprosy, and sent him on his merry way. After I boinked him in my new car.

Robyn Peterman

Tags: romance contemporary-comedy

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It takes a while for the heat to work in this piece of shit, but when it kicks in, you’ll sweat like a fat whore at confession.

Robyn Peterman

Tags: contemporary-comedy romance-loveorary-romance

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