Perhaps you have a lumpy ass because you are perserving your fat cells with diet soda

Rory Freedman


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Laboratory scientists use formaldehyde as a disinfectant or preservative. They don't fucking drink it.

Rory Freedman

Tags: hilarious



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Now that you're a Skinny Bitch, don't turn into a skinny bitch. We conceived of the title, Skinny Bitch, to get attention and sell books.... But we are not bitches, and we have no desire to promote bitchiness. There is nothing uglier than a pretty woman who's nasty. If you look great, you should feel good about yourself and be happy.

Rory Freedman

Tags: inspirational-attitude



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And when all feels hopeless, remember that you are in charge of what goes into your body, you don't answer to anyone, and you are allowed to eat anything you want. Often just knowing we can eat whatever we want is enough to keep us from eating whatever we want. We're so rebellious.

Rory Freedman

Tags: dieting-humor



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You should not need anything to wake up. If you can't wake up without it, it's because you are either addicted to caffeine, sleep deprived, or a generally unhealthy slob. It may seem like the end of the world to give up your daily dose, especially if your rely on Starbucks as a good place to meet men. But it's not heroin, girls, and you'll learn to live without it.

Rory Freedman


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Whenever you see the words "fat free" or "low-fat," think of the words "chemical shit storm.

Rory Freedman


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So your junk food has a shelf life of twenty-two years and will probably outlive your fat, sorry ass.

Rory Freedman


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Milk = fat. Butter = fat. Cheese = fat. People who think these products can be low fat or fat free = fucking morons.

Rory Freedman


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Never feel like or say you are "giving up" your favorite foods. Those words have a negative connotation, like you are sacrificing something. You're not "giving up" anything. You are simply empowered now and able to make educated, controlled choices about what you will and won't put into your body, your temple.

Rory Freedman

Tags: skinny-bastard



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