Stamp: "Fine Maddy, Whatever. Take your little punk loser to the dance. I don't need you, Maddy. I can ask two dozen, three dozen chicks right now to go with me." Maddy: "Well then," I guess you better start stocking up on corsages.

Rusty Fischer

Tags: humor maddy stamp



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You know, surprisingly, they don't sell a lot of brains in the local 24-hour grocery store around the corner from my house.

Rusty Fischer

Tags: brains zombies



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The website didn't say how much brains--or even how many--I should eat, only that I should eat them in 48 hours OR ELSE. Why doesn't anyone pay attention to details anymore? Would it be so hard to add a simple line like, BTW, Maddy, 3 pounds of brains per week is plenty?
Seriously, am I the first new zombie ever to ask?

Rusty Fischer

Tags: brains zombies



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I look at her and ask, flat out, "What's up?" Girl talk, of course, for, Back off my man, biotch.

Rusty Fischer


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What is this?" I ask, trying to sound brave and flip, and I'm sure, merely coming off as too loud and annoying. "Strip grocery shopping? If it is, I have to tell you I've got on 16 pairs of underwear, so you're going to lose big-time--

Rusty Fischer


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Why don't you check out those teenagers in the middle row? They've been going at it like dogs in heat ever since the previews. They're probably both werewolves. And even if they aren't, you should throw them out on principle alone.

Rusty Fischer

Tags: romance vampires ya zombies werewolves young-adult-fiction



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Just try it,” he murmurs, reaching over to cover my hand gently.
And I think, Whoa, that’s never happened before!
Then: Is he just doing that because he thinks Wyatt is interested?
And, finally, this: Who the hell cares?!

Rusty Fischer

Tags: paranormal-romance zombies young-adult-fiction vampire-romance



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If you had watched any of those three wonderful films, you would have caught Vampire Gym Teacher # 2: Back to Cruel, where the vampire hunter ties a vampire chick to the shower and tortures her by turning on the water. They can‟t stand water, even if it‟s not holy water.

Rusty Fischer

Tags: vampires gym-class young-adult-novels



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So why are you so mad at me for kissing you?”
“Because you took too long. If you'd done that, say, three years ago, we wouldn't have only had one kiss before we both get horribly mutilated.

Rusty Fischer

Tags: romantic vampires paranormal young-adult zombies werewolves romance-funny ushers



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Some sample lyrics I think I catch: "My engine races up to seventh gear; wrap your legs around my engine, dear . . . . The tunnel's dark, but the ground is wet; I lubricate it with my dripping sweat!"
Or, something vaguely disturbing and gross like that; it's hard to tell with the wailing guitars and the front man screaming through his ravaged vocal chords.

Rusty Fischer

Tags: paranormal-romance demons young-adult-novels ghouls



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