I was the muddled concoction of my father’s contradictions. The same man who warned me that “life is a bowl-a shit” was the channel to my bliss. The infection and the cure. He was, at once, the drought that left me parched and gasping, and the rain that nurtured the single blade of grass, pushing itself up from between the jagged cracks in the sidewalk, and into the sun.

Sam Harris


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The closest thing in my life to a mistake of that magnitude was the marriage of my dear friend Liza to the Man Whose Name Shall Go Unmentioned.

Sam Harris


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Keeping my weight in constant check had resulted in choosing alcohol as my primary means of caloric intake.

Sam Harris


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My four-year-old son and I have little in common. Cooper loves cars, jets, monster trucks, and motorcycles. All the time. I hate cars, jets, monster trucks, and motorcycles. All the time.

Sam Harris


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There was no gasping last breath or final, wisdom-filled declaration. No fluttering of the eyelids or clawed outstretch of hand. No moan or even the raising of his chest for a last, releasing exhalation. He just . . . died.

Sam Harris


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I’d decreased my sit-up regime and had taken to drawing on abdominal muscles with brown eye shadow.

Sam Harris


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She kept a picture of a very Caucasian Jesus on her living room wall and her gallstones in a baby food jar that hung from a pink ribbon on the bathroom doorframe.

Sam Harris


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I got a P-touch labeler and labeled everything: places for diapers, bibs, onesies, pants, socks, crib sheets, binkies, pack ’n’ play sheets, baby wipes, changing table covers . . . Everything has a place, and that place was going to have a goddamn label on it.

Sam Harris


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For the first time in my life, I wanted to smell like someone’s smoke. It was Aretha smoke. I decided right then that I would not shower before the show, or perhaps ever again. I’d been anointed.

Sam Harris


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I have always believed that the light at the end of the tunnel is not an illusion; the illusion is the tunnel itself.

Sam Harris


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