When approaching a prospective human, first ask them what their name is.

* If it replies "Brains," blow its fucking head off.
* If it replies "Brian," ask it again, as you may have encountered a zombie with a speech impediment, or a zombie that was mildly retarded in life.
* Keep in mind that it is entirely possible that you did encounter a human named "Brian.

Shamus McCarty

Tags: humor zombie zombies funny-quotes zombie-apocalypse assholery

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I’m alive; I’m not gonna try eating your ass, okay? Don’t shoot!”

“What… Eat my ASS?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.

Shamus McCarty

Tags: zombies bizarro assholery

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Fucking GUNS are fucking AWESOME and when you SHOOT them at SHIT, they fucking KILL it!

Shamus McCarty

Tags: guns zombies

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