All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Spike Milligan


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Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Spike Milligan

Tags: absurd



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Money can't buy you friends, but you do get a better class of enemy.

Spike Milligan

Tags: absurd



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My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

Spike Milligan

Tags: life



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What is a Bongaloo, Daddy?"
A Bongaloo, Son," said I,
Is a tall bag of cheese
Plus a Chinaman's knees
And the leg of a nanny goat's eye

Spike Milligan


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I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

Spike Milligan


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I have a body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

Spike Milligan


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A family man from Siberia
As a father was very inferior
But one operation
Revised the situation
And now he's Mother Superior

Spike Milligan


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Pakistani Dalek: Put him in the cur-ry

Spike Milligan


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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush

Spike Milligan

Tags: humour



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