Now, the scene you just saw," I began, pointing to the stage.
"Was about you and T.C.," he concluded, nodding like he already knew.
"What??"
"She pretends she doesn't like him and he pretends he doesn't care."
I had no handy rebuttal to that particular allegation and wouldn't have been able to come up with one if I'd been given a week's notice. So I countered with the only safe reply I could think of.
"The toilet is not working properly.

Steve Kluger


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Never, ever stop believing in magic, no matter how old you get. Because if you keep looking long enough and don't give up, sooner or later you're going to find Mary Poppins.

Steve Kluger

Tags: faith magic



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Papa, I'm ashamed that you think women are so simple. We can make decisions for ourselves too, you know. I'm not a child or a baby anymore, so I'm allowed to speak my mind. And if you don't wish to hear it, just tell me so and I'll go into another room-but I'll speak it anyway. I want this for myself as much as I've never wanted the diplomatic corps and I'm going to get it-even if I have to do it alone. Excuse me.

Steve Kluger

Tags: women determination witty my-most-excellent-year



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A first kiss after five months means more than a first kiss after five minutes.

Steve Kluger

Tags: first-kiss



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Augie: Does everybody else know?
T.C.: About my epitaph?
Augie: About me being gay, you gink-head hoser-face!
T.C. Not everybody. There's a night watchman at a Dunkin Donuts just outside of Detroit. He doesn't know yet.

Steve Kluger

Tags: gay my-most-excellent-year dunkin-donuts



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Like there's actually a need for Greenland. You can get ice at 7-Eleven.

Steve Kluger

Tags: greenland ice my-most-excellent-year 7-eleven



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Ale: Are you manipulating me again?
T.C.: Try not to fall for it. I dare you.

Steve Kluger

Tags: manipulation dare my-most-excellent-year



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Why do guys insist on wearing those odious jeans with their rear ends hanging down around their ankles? Do they really think it's hot?

Steve Kluger

Tags: question guys my-most-excellent-year sagging



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Just because you discover that you may like somebody after all, it doesn't necessarily mean there's any attraction.

Steve Kluger

Tags: relationships attraction my-most-excellent-year liking-someone



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T.C.: Um, actually you just said "I live in a parking lot." You didn't mean to do that.
Lori: You've never seen traffic on Concord Street at eight o'clock in the morning.

Steve Kluger

Tags: traffic my-most-excellent-year parking-lot



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