The sound of a harpsichord – two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm.
Thomas BeechamMadam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands – and all you can do is scratch it.
Thomas BeechamHer singing reminds me of a cart coming downhill with the brake on.
Thomas BeechamA musicologist is a man who can read music but can’t hear it.
Thomas BeechamThere are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn’t give a damn what goes on in between.
Thomas BeechamTry everything once, except folk dancing and incest.
Thomas BeechamThe musical equivalent of St Pancras Station.
(on Elgar)
Tags: humor music architecture insult composers
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