It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Tommy CooperI inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.
Tommy CooperYou know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.
Tommy CooperI had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.
Tommy CooperTags: humor
spoon, jar, jar jar spoon
Tommy CooperI'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already.
Tommy CooperTags: humour
I belong to the secret six. It's so secret I don't even know the other five.
Tommy CooperI went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
Tommy CooperTwo blondes walk into a building.
You'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.
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