Celibacy is the Tesla family secret, passed down through the
generations.”
“Celibacy, passed down through the generations?”Victor asked dryly.
I flushed. “Its efficacy is not disproved by its imperfect application,”
I muttered.

Vinnie Tesla

Tags: humor celibacy



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Tesla,” the vicar mused. “That’s a foreign name, is it not? Hungarian,
is it?”
“Serbian,” I corrected him. “I’m afraid the ——shire Teslas are a
scant three centuries in these parts, having constructed Tesla Hall in
the reign of Queen Elizabeth.We are a restless people, and no doubt
will be moving on again any century now.

Vinnie Tesla

Tags: humor history



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I am certain
you are not one of those dreary fellows one reads of who demands that
their lady friends be in possession of a maidenhead. Mine was taken
by a marrow two years ago.”
“A marrow, Miss Pertwee? The vegetable that the Italians call il
zucchine?”
“The very same.A most particularly bold and impetuous hot-house
marrow. It was quite the ravishment, I can assure you.”
“I consider it no dishonor at all to be preceded by so noble a vegetable.

Vinnie Tesla

Tags: humor virginity vegetables



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A lesser man might have begrudged
him that, but remembering the old adage, "The finder’s goods shall
he retain / Nor mind the loser’s dreadful pain," I rejoiced, rather, in his good
fortune.

Vinnie Tesla

Tags: inspirational



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I work hard to stay cynical enough! I keep my expectations of our culture and our leaders low, low, low, and I do it so I don't have to be let down. And yet again I am lowballed by the brokenness of the American cultural machine.

Vinnie Tesla

Tags: cynicism america media culture



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