33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One old woman died while giving birth to twins.

“If you try a joke a second time and nobody laughs, don’t tell a different joke—…”

“The crowd was patriotic, and they were chanting “USA, USA.” Of course, the crow…”

“I think the best time to stare off into space is when you’re going 65 on a moto…”

“I can provide a witness who didn’t see me at the scene of the crime. That witne…”