A backpack could be a sleeping bag for a midget—or a hatch, a hatchback.

“I am a forward thinker with nostalgia. I dream of the past, and daydream of the…”

“I have a pet frog. He sleeps in a king-sized bed, just in case he happens to be…”

“I stole her perfume out of her car, and in its place I left a loud fart.”

“A brick and a blanket aptly describe my former roommate. He was as dumb as a br…”