A brick could be used as a bottle opener. Just don’t smash down too hard, or you’ll shatter the bottle.


“The only nutritional sustenance I need is praise, flattery, and potassium in th…”

“I wonder if rooms in an insane asylum have Do Not Disturb signs for the doors. …”

“A blanket could be used to alter the future. But so can setting your watch ahea…”

“The closest my penis has come to my sexy coworker’s vagina, is piss splatters o…”