A brick could be used as a cock block. 


“I made plans for 8:00. When my girlfriend told me she was late, I told her, “Th…”

“I want to keep a human mouth on my coffee table. It’ll be a great conversation …”

“If given the choice, I’d take five ones over a five-dollar bill, because women …”

“Sure, I’ll take your pamphlet. I need to fill up my trashcan anyway.”