A date is a place, a destination. March 5th, 1982 is the ideal tourist trap.

“Larry Bird looks like a bird, and Johnny Vagina looks like—hey, what is that in…”

“My facial expression must have looked like a swarm of bees as I drank the hot b…”

“One word I’d use to describe space is lonely. The only way I’ll board a space s…”

“I added three letters to my resume. No, not MBA or PhD. I added ZXQ, because th…”