A figure 8 doesn’t figure into my plans to live to infinity.

“I’m so constipated that every time I go to shit, the only thing that comes out …”

“My love is a flower shaped like a snowflake. It won’t melt, so perhaps ice crea…”

“I didn’t have enough money to tip the waitress, so I offered to take her out on…”

“I am a great customer. I’m not a loyal customer, but that’s what makes me great…”