A monster’s not a monster to another monster. At least that’s what I thought when I saw my mother-in-law talking to a statue of Stalin.

“Chairs have legs. Four of them, like my father. Meow.”

“I put the “Dan” in Danger. I’m sorry, Dan.”

“My lucky rabbit's foot has kept me alive all these years. Hopefully it will do …”

“I have the heart of a lion, and the circulatory system of a lamb.”