A root vegetable went missing. Maybe it will turnip in my next bad pun.

“We made love like a slice of French toast trying to act like an English muffin.”

“A brick could be used as a paperweight, for people whose writing isn’t as dense…”

“I am Fried Quiero Loud Babcock (not bad cock), and I am here for the ranch dres…”

“I’m like a praying mantis, except not so devout. And I make love like a monk in…”