A whisper is the shadow of a shout, and I keep a few in my wallet to use at the strip club on rainy nights.

“A blanket could be used to settle disputes. Hold my penis while I demonstrate h…”

“There are many ways to kill someone. I prefer laughter, and doing it slowly, ov…”

“The sign said don’t do it, so naturally I did it. Signs are always saying stuff…”

“I’m an only child, so logically I gave birth to my parents, because if it weren…”