Abigail,’ he says. ‘I thought it was you.’
‘Hi!’ I say loudly. ‘Mark!’
‘Who?’ says Robert. Fuck, he doesn’t know his real name. Why do I give everyone stupid nicknames?
‘I almost don’t recognise you out of your SKINNY JEANS,’ I enunciate carefully. He’s wearing grey flannel trousers and a pink T-Shirt with leather Converses. He speaks clothes exceptionally confidently for a straight man. I wonder if he’d take me shopping.
‘Oh, right. Got it.’
‘That’s odd,’ says Skinny Jeans. ‘Since I was wearing nothing at all when you left my room without saying goodbye . . . let’s see, seven weeks ago?’
‘Um, yes. Well, you know . . .’ I trail off. Come on, Robert, I think desperately.
‘I’m sorry, were you planning on making me breakfast in bed?’ says Robert. Yes! Make a joke!
‘I’m sorry, were you planning on making me breakfast in bed?’ I say.
Skinny Jeans grins.
‘Scrambled eggs? Toast? On a little tray?’
‘Scrambled eggs? Toast? On a little tray with a rose on it?’ I say.
‘Don’t fuck with my script,’ says Robert, which makes me grin slightly more broadly

Author: Gemma Burgess