Abstain from reading comedy or other government economic statistics.

“He had a ten-gallon hat that hid a twenty-gallon fish tank inside his transluce…”

“I launder dirty money. You should see my washing machine. (It’s filthy!)”

“If all the centenarians formed their own country, they’d be both the youngest c…”

“We made love like I make grilled cheese sandwiches. I had no idea what I was do…”