Agatha told me she was late, and I thought, I haven’t slept with her in years—she really must be late. I’m going to be a father!

“Even though I buried our love in a coffin, it isn’t dead. No, our love is very …”

“A blanket could be used as a soggy umbrella, if you’re too cheap to buy my 360-…”

“I got a small package in the mail today, and I thought it was the midget stripp…”

“I am the sunrise of sunsets, and I make love like noon at midnight.”