All I have to say about love can be summed up in nine words: Never wipe your ass before you take a shit.

“Hemingway suggested you write the truest sentence you know. I say write the fal…”

“I wasn’t very far away from figuring out the secret to love, no more than two m…”

“I got into a car accident. My car was so damaged it changed from white to a pur…”

“I stood in the doorway pondering the difference between naked and nude, and the…”