All my best writing was written before 1982, and then a significant event happened to me: I was born.

“I like being right more than I like keeping friends. Certainly this leaves me l…”

“I ran over a dog last night on my way home, and then I wondered what my wife ha…”

“A brick could be used to make love better. Faster isn’t always better. Don’t yo…”

“This is for the sneeze I lost. I won’t drink to your memory, but I will snort s…”