Amputate your leg, and attach it to the underside of your wobbly, three-legged chair. Fixing your chair is easy. Ask me how to repair your broken erection.


“I put gloves on before I put gloves on, so I don’t get my gloves dirty.”

“When you’re as ugly as I am, you need all the beauty sleep you can get. I’ll be…”

“I don’t like chili, unless I’m wearing a jacket.”

“Boy, when Grandma Wrinklebottom comes to town, you’d better hide your underwear…”