Apricots are like cute furry pets you can eat—legally.

“Surviving cancer is cool, but surviving old age is cooler.”

“A blanket could be used to say hello to a friend I haven’t spoken to in forever…”

“The price of gold is up 14 fold since last time I tried unfolding it. And laund…”

“His voice is like 999 one-winged vultures, all flapping in unison, while 333 ho…”