As a point of fact, the best apologies don’t come at the point of a sword, they come freely and of one’s own volition, hours and sometimes even days after the torture session has ended.

“The last time I went speed dating, I brought a radar gun. I got clocked at over…”

“A unicorn breathes rainbows like a dragon breathes fire. My coffee breathes Jar…”

“Fruit punch is better than a sucker punch—but quick, flex your abs.”

“I’m going to spend a lifetime being me, so I’d better like who I am as a person…”