As a writer, I need more exposure. I think I’ll take off my pants. Would you mind if I kept my penis warm in your oven mitt?

“Wheelchairs won’t kill you. And cigarettes won’t paralyze you. Stick a wheelcha…”

“A blanket could be used to express my condolences. I’m sorry to have to tell yo…”

“You’re under no obligation to accept my oppression, but it is strongly recommen…”

“I drink coffee like other men play basketball. I drink like a woman, and that’s…”