At the bar, I asked her what she’d like to drink, hoping she’d reply, “Your semen.

“Her name is Angela, though she’s no angel. Dad, I can’t believe she replenishes…”

“I like my eggs sunny side up at midnight, and I wear sunglasses when I eat them…”

“I am the go-to guy for to-go boxes.”

“I want to write a book called, “Son, I’m dying,” where I visualize the day my e…”