At the gun range I can’t hit the paper bull’s eye, no matter how carefully I aim at my wife.

“I want to be the world’s safest fashion designer. And I always wear my seatbelt…”

“Your love is my candy, and I wouldn’t dream of trying to give it away to strang…”

“You can smuggle anything into an event inside empty pizza boxes. Carrying pizza…”

“I once met an asexual unicycle, but I wasn’t wearing rubber gloves so I didn’t …”