At the time of the murder, I had an airtight alibi: I spent the night in a Ziploc bag. Author: Jarod Kintz Copy Quote More from Jarod Kintz “My stomach is my locker. Let me store your lunch for you. You’ll get it back, i…” “I’d like a peach cobbler. Georgia shoemakers are tasty.” “-The good guys are coming, boss. What do you want me to do?-Don’t just stand th…” “If I don’t clean off the bug corpses that are petrified on my bumper for looks,…”