Before I sold used cars, I sold used horses. Mostly to glue factories.

“My book is a light read. Seriously, it probably weighs 3.33 ounces. That’s pret…”

“I don’t need a steak knife to cut my meat. That’s why karate chops were created…”

“A blanket could be used to fill the night sky with smoke, if you use it to suff…”

“I want to move to Hollywood and audition for parts just so I can say, “I’m not …”