Being vulgar to be funny is a crutch, and I prefer wheelchairs.

“I sure wish deodorant tasted like butter, because then I could keep mashed pota…”

“-You don’t want to come out and celebrate with me tonight? What’s more importan…”

“A brick could be used as a period on a really large sentence. A blanket could b…”

“It was a dumb mistake, sleeping with her, and I learned from the experience. St…”