Birthdays are like politicians. I don’t like any of them, but they still keep coming around.

“There’s money to be made with a name like Cash. I should print myself into popu…”

“A brick could be used to sell a blanket, in a buy one get one free situation. I…”

“A brick could be used to keep warm, and a blanket could be used to build a hous…”

“I called the police to report my missing mustache, but they didn’t take me seri…”