Birthdays are like presidential elections. I don’t like them, but they still keep coming around every four years.

“If my penis were big enough to be mistaken for a leg, I am not sure I'd want th…”

“If I were a professor, I’d bring my cat to class. I’d be silent until it meowed…”

“Love is the hero of all emotions. My love for you is a superhero, and it looks …”

“The ultimate dead end is murder. My house is on a dead-end street, and it’s kil…”