Boxes of toilet paper make the best birthday presents. They really show I give a shit. Author: Jarod Kintz Copy Quote More from Jarod Kintz “My new mustache is barely big enough to cover my pubic region.” “I make love like the desert. Ever implemented a cactus during foreplay?” “I collect nothing. The best part is, the less I have, the more I have.” “I don’t like boxing. I prefer bagging.”