Bums are called bums because they sit on their ass all day.

“In bed, I could climb in, if you ever rest. Then I could mount you like Everest.”

“I cling to our love like saran wrap on leftovers. If you want to know when dinn…”

“During conversation, I have no problem making eye contact—with myself in the mi…”

“A blanket could be used to say hello to all the goodbyes I was too blind to hea…”