Cats are like mushrooms, only you'll rarely ever hear me scream, "Get off my pizza!" to a pack of mushrooms.

“I want a house that costs somewhere in the neighborhood of any other neighborho…”

“I’m standing in misunderstanding. I must have just stepped in it.”

“Write your goals down on a sheet of paper. That way you can easily flip the pag…”

“I am terrified of heights, sharks, and spiders, so I am not into skydiving, sur…”