Coupons are easy to counterfeit, so why not make a bunch of one dollar off coupons and sell each one for 50 cents? Then I could buy your love.

“Politics are like shoes. On one side you have the left, and on the other side y…”

“To be surrounded by sixty people who make your life miserable is to be at a fam…”

“I postulate that there is something stickier than semen. That substance is love.”

“I want to be the guy who the guy you admire admires. I hope his name is Guy, be…”