Do I attribute my success to hard work, or sunscreen? If you want the truth, maybe you should ask my new albino secretary.

“Being strong is not the same as being a strong being. I should know because cow…”

“I prefer long-distance relationships. If we were dating, would you be offended …”

“A brick could be used to manipulate people into doing what you want. If anythin…”

“I’m a guy who respects boundaries. I require a passport for interpersonal trave…”