Don’t invite me to my birthday party until the day after it’s happened.

“A brick could be used to tell time. And just between you and me, I hope that br…”

“I believe men belong in the garage, because that’s where the dog food is stored…”

“I’m like a ventriloquist chasing his own voice. I can whisper and shout at the …”

“For the time being I’ll be a being in time. And when I die, I’ll happily be com…”