Don’t kill your wife—kill your wife’s mother, and make it look like your wife did it.

“I live my life according to a code. You might know it by the surname Morse.”

“The only thing I have left to remember her by is the scent of her perfume. I ju…”

“You know you’re in love when you reach out to hold your woman’s hand, without r…”

“Have I ever been in love? Have your ears ever itched from inside your urethra?”