Don’t point your accusatory finger at me, unless you want me to wrap my hand around it, grip it tight, and jerk it off. That’s how a real politician defers blame.

“Nothing in this world feels quite like freedom, except for freedom. And nothing…”

“I was driving to another girl’s house who’s not my girl, and I saw a red sign b…”

“I come bearing gifts in the form of junk food. You’re welcome. I would have bro…”

“The only drink I like ice in is water, because you can’t water down water. I’m …”